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Where’d it all go? And then it was 365 shopping days until next Christmas. Sure, there was a lot of commercialism, but the whole thing was fun. I don’t doubt for a moment that I might’ve conflated a bunch of actual memories of Christmases past with wishes for what Christmases should have been and created a history that never was, but still. Everybody had a good time with it and eggnog and the Christmas spirit and NOBODY got pissed off if you wished them a Merry Christmas.I am an introvert. A serious introvert. One of nearly the hermit kind. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is by the writer Neal Stephenson: “Where did all these people come from, and how do I make them go away?” What this means as far as Christmas is concerned is that even though I enjoy gift-giving, I absolutely hate crowds.When I was about thirty and single—in days before the Internet—I developed tactics for shopping that made dealing with the crowds easier. I didn’t shower, shave, or brush my teeth for three. To make sure he wouldn't forget,she pierced both pamphlets and threaded a pink ribbon through them andtied it around his left wrist.Seated at the vanity, before she removed the turban and began combingout his long hair, coated his face with a facial mask. She quicklyparted his hair down the middle and created bangs by snipping off thehair just above his brows. Taking a blow dryer and a round brush shedid her best to create a feminine looking hair style. Putting the blowdrier away, she took a red velvet bow and fastened it to the top of hishead letting the streamers fall to his shoulders creating a flatponytail in the process. Finished with his hair, she pushed his headconverted by Web2PDFConvert.comback and began tweezing his brows into high arches. With that done, shepeeled off the mask and began applying liquid foundation. Almost thirtyminutes later she stood back and admired her work. His face resembledthat of the Victorian doll sitting on the bed. His face had bright redcupid.
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